Monday, 25 March 2013

Walking Out Of An Unhappy Relationship

You're unhappy with your relationship but not sure whether you should keep trying or not? Here's when to split:
A dozen sound reasons for getting out of a relationship:

1. If You've Been Hurt Physically
Temporary Insanity may have worked for Lorena Bobbitt, but you're not running a court of law. Ignore excuses and apologies; if violence has surfaced, it will surface again. Get out at the very first strike.

2. When You're Totally Incompatible
If your lover's dream is to drop out and become self- sufficient on a farm somewhere, and you're a city person with ambitions, one of you is going to be seriously unhappy if you stay together. Or, if you always want to go out and he or she always wants to stay home, look for someone whose social style is closer to yours.

3. When He Or She Isn't Even Close To Your Fantasy
If you're a longtime luckless single, you may be tempted to stay with someone just because they're available and willing, but don't do it. He or she has to turn you on somewhat; there has to be some chemistry and some future.

4. When He Or She Just Can't Say "I Love You"
Even if there's chemistry, if someone can't express their love for you with affectionate gestures, nurturing, and the magic words, "I love you," you'll never feel really satisfied with them.

5. When He Or She Is Just Not There For You
If you've been dating for more than six months and you can't count on him or her to come and get you if your car breaks down, or to be your date for New Year's Eve, or even to feed your goldfish when you're away on a business trip, then you don't have a solid relationship.

6. When You're Afraid To Express Yourself
Being in love should bring out the best in you. It should help you be less self-conscious and make you more open and alive. If instead, you worry that you'll upset the applecart if you say what you think, or if you're afraid that the least little thing will destroy the delicate balance you've achieved, or if you feel like you're walking on eggs all the time, get out.

7. When Your Self-esteem Is Suffering
If your relationship is demeaning, makes you feel bad about yourself, leaves you feeling like you're never listened to, and you're getting more criticism than praise, then it's time to get out. A good relationship makes you feel respected and loved, worthwhile and good about yourself.

8. When He Or She Is A Philanderer
Philanderers usually leave track records behind them (see "Qualifying Someone"). If you discover your mate has that kind of history, don't believe "never again." The heartache and torment will never end. And in the age of AIDS, any kind of a sex life with an unfaithful mate means condoms forever. Who needs this?

9. When He Or She Commits An Unforgivable Act.
There are single acts which are so beyond the pale that they should mean THE END. If he or she sleeps with your best friend, stands you up at the altar, or commits murder, dump him or her with no second chances. Even if you were to able to forgive, your self-esteem would never recover, and you'd still always be angry at him or her underneath.

10. When The Same Problems Reoccur
Sadly, loving someone doesn't always guarantee that you can happily spend the rest of your lives together. If you've broken up and gotten back together, and you're still having the same fights, the same problems or different versions of the same problem, especially if you've tried relationship counseling, then give up and find someone else.

11. When He Or She Says "I Need Some Space"
The relationship seems to have stalled, and then your partner mumbles something like, "I want time," or "I want space," or "I want to date," or "I need to devote myself to my career." Almost always, what he or she means is, "I want out." These things happen. Don't drag it out. Say, "Sounds like you want to break up. I'm sorry you feel that way, but I understand. I hope we can remain friends."

12. When The Relationship Just Doesn't Progress
Relationships have a natural progression. If you're not progressing and you can't pinpoint the cause, you might want to try relationship counseling. However, if he or she won't go, and things don't improve, the relationship is coming to an end. Again, these things happen. Don't drag it out


  1. truely if a relationship doesn't progress, its ok to walk away.

  2. True words here... Job well done mam!

  3. I don't agree with dat of the space Oº°˚˚°ºoo ...haba!!!. Sum1 may want some space without necessarily implying dat he/she wants out. Especially wen tϞε̲̣̣̣̥ oda partner is very possessive and sticky like glue...#BraveHeart has spoken.

  4. @femi, and Queen, thanks. @bravehear, i respect ur opinion. If its some space the person needs, fine! U kn wen distance sets in a relationship, tins change, wen u get married wud u tell ur wife u want some space? No! Its together forever don't forget. So ur wanting some space in a relationship mite imply u r fed up and wanna indirectly want out. Just my opinion.

  5. First and foremost, my name is BraveHeart aka 2baba.*winks*.. Spacing shuldnt take long. My definition of spacing is 3hours...*winks*...

  6. @braveheart, it ok, if its just three hrs. For me three hrs cud be three yrs oo "wink" lol

  7. ℓ☺ℓ... Ɣ☺ΰ​​ na lover girl Oº°˚˚°ºoo.take am easy shaaa.

  8. Replies
    1. .. this is the singular reason why the rate of divorce, + single Parenting, Ladies Getting Pregnant out side Wedlock, also single elderly ladies, are on the Increase in our Country Now. how can someone be is saying "When He Or She Just Can't Say "I Love You'' is a sound reason to walking out of ur relationship?... it invariably shows the kind of childish mentality He/She possess. He/She will rarely succeed in a relationship, if "Quitting Card'' is always somewhere around inside the purse...

  9. Hmmm, u know the word "i love you" is very important in every relationship. So if a relationship doesn't add any value to your life, its ok to want out. Just my sincere opinion.

  10. Nyc piece...jst don't get d "I love u" part...I can say it and not mean it,and I can mean it and u could as well not blyv it...Love is more of a "verb" dan it is a "noun",its an "act" and not jst a "word". I bet a lot of folks v been told "I love u" and stil don't feel "loved"...+ dere's no such tin as an "unforgiveable" act...xcept ofcos, u don't blyv love conquers all...wat myt b grave to u myt not to d other person...When u find dt one person dt makes u tick, do al u can to hold on, and if it doesn't work in d end, u knw u gave it u d end, u myt not b happy, but u get satisfaction, knowing dt u r a wonderful soul